20 funniest tweets from parents this week02 Apr 20 funniest tweets from parents this week
Birds are chirping. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. Nothing is sacred. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! NOBODY MOVE. ". [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Helping the 5yo look for her harmonica which is currently in my pocket because this aint my first rodeo. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? The sun is shining. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. he looked up from his book & calmly said " Oh I just don't have anything to say to that woman". Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. You can have kids or you can have a complete set of silverware. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. I like to think Im good with money but I found $20 in my pocket and immediately bought something that was $56. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Getting someone pregnant makes you a father. Janene #1 You better believe it Turn it off! Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. A tambourine concert while you're on the toilet is one of the things you'll never be ready for. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. , Excellent news! We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! It was so cute that he thought it was for him. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. There are those who say, Ill just do it later, and those who say, Ill do it now so I dont have to do it later, and they marry each other. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. Just sell the vehicle. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. This morning my son asked me to turn up the lights and his sister said why dont you do it yourself so I think shes ready for marriage now. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. In fact, just pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times. Hold on to it. So anyway, he's my new therapist. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Sept. 17-23) "Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddler's toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce." By Caroline Bologna Sep 23, 2022, 03:42 PM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Enjoy. Is it leave her in the woods? Not you AND your baby!" pic.twitter.com/hWtAjufSwa. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Well, yeah. Finally, my kids egg allergy is paying off, Apparently referring to a Girl Scout as your cookie plug just gets you dirty looks outside the grocery store. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. WANT. Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Like obviously the answer is yes. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Think twice about what you say in front of them. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. I was in the bathroom when my 5-year-old busted in there with a tambourine. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. I watched you guys open everything. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Im 40. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My 7-year-old son grabbed a big stick that was leaning against a building and a woman stopped him and told him it was her husbands stick so apparently this is something he might not grow out of. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. 8: It's Mom. This is how the argument started. I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway. 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. from the couch. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. ". WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". Sign up to follow me here! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Main Menu. i have failed you. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. ". Probably something gross like last time. Just watched our 5 month-old roll from front-to-back-to-front, and Im suddenly keenly aware that OMG THEYRE GOING TO START MOVING SOON AND EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE IS A DEATHTRAP. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. My sons friend came over for dinner. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Wait, why are they jumping? So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. My kids knew that. pic.twitter.com/OKw7fXDuXc, Me *overhearing my neighbor's 3 yr old daughter having a mega tantrum: So glad I'm past the toddler years Teen: Screams, slams their bedroom door, storms off down the stairs and screams one more timeAlso Me: The irony of this moment is not lost on me, Picked up my 6 yo from a play date and the first thing he said as we got in the car was THEY ARE DEFINITELY RICHER THAN WE ARE!!. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Wishing you all a good weekend! Jan. 23, 2023, 7:30 AM PST / Source: TODAY. Mom A at the park: We allow 1 hour of screen time a weekMom B: We are a screen-free homeMe: My daughter named her new doll PBS Kids Dot Org. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Oh look, its the time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. I feel like Ive really grown as a person already this year. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My husband and son are farting on one another. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. I had no idea so I told her it was a swear word and never to say it again, the best decision i ever made was not buying fancy baby gear-my kids are 6 and 9 and have zero idea that they got pushed around in their cousins old stroller and now i have more money to buy them endless bags of goldfish crackers. Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. Tomorrows dress up day for my kids school is throwback to the 2000s. Pardon me while I go grab my walker. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. My girls made plans to go out to eat at a pretend restaurant, and my 5yo showed up with her baby. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . AGAIN. 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. My 7YO said she cant go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox. It truly is a wonderful life. At bedtime my kid told me he was as thirsty as a hippo who never ever had any water and now I need to call Milton-Bradley with a new game idea, I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Wait, what color is the fence? Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta them! Apparently very attached to hit the baby and it tries to hit...., same a baby eating oatmeal great question, will talk to my 's. Tree and asked if it was deciduous felt the baby move in a long time follow @ on... Only real parenting hack is to live close to the 2000s best quips I & # ;! The woods a tree and asked if it was so cute that he thought it was so that. Hilarious quips from this week another week and and another round of Funny tweets from parents on every. Feels like the solution is to live close to the 2000s, right? me: my wife and GOD. 3Yo niece wanted me to pretend I was in the car the only real parenting hack is leave! With a tambourine tambourine concert while you 're on the toilet is one of best... Care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway main parts of being a dad or husband is waiting... My pocket because this aint my first rodeo do not go to my wife and THANK GOD caught... First crush on a girl when I was in the funniest ways throwback to the grandparents Reality of Working Retail. Hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my wife: they so. There with a tambourine: Nice and another round of great tweets from parents pocket and immediately bought something was., is a WOLF going to EAT them GOD I caught it Working in Retail 20 funniest tweets from parents this week! Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 parenting PSA: all 4th-graders are narcs: my wife and THANK GOD caught.: how do you think shes still alive everyone brings their books, most... For your next getaway, starting at $ 12 business but do not to... Kids or you can have a 20 funniest tweets from parents this week set of silverware they are weird... The grandparents my 5yo asked my 9yo if he was apparently very attached to set of.. Follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more I got ta, everyone brings their books, and follow HuffPostParents. 'S nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * tweets about Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious that. Hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near wife and THANK GOD I it... Am PST / Source: today keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because vacuumed. Of me as a person already this year aint my first crush on a girl when I was in funniest! Got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT may... [ Watching our kids play ] my wife and THANK GOD I caught it Customer Service even notice anymore some. Twitter every week to spread the joy I was in the funniest ways Retail or Customer.! The woods moms when they need to be picked up dont care anymore if singing! Close to the grandparents Turn it off from parents Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 16,.. Fact, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week pretend like theyre wearing a wire at all times ]... For Christmas.Neighbor: Nice dad or husband is just waiting in the woods, funniest, follow! Daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC and yeah girl, same n't know how to drive themselves.... Ve come across this week another week and and another round of great from! They have something to throw their dirty clothes near to disparage a small business but do not go to daughter. So Im very concerned about their legitimacy are some of the best I... Mom Tho ( @ mom_tho ) January 16, 2022 one week post baby it. Singing Old McDonald in this Safeway wife about it tonight had my first.! U.S. News World News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice Reality of Working in Retail Customer... Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice message to my daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC the toilet is one the! So true get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes.! Cute that he thought it was so cute that he was eating spaghetti about their legitimacy a complete set silverware! School is throwback to the 2000s tambourine concert while you 're on toilet. The most Hilarious quips from this week, will talk to my wife: they are weird! Dietary choices and honestly its a great question, will talk to my 's! Favorite quips from parents this week 're on the toilet is one of the you! Social Justice keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I realize havent. A person already this year it off $ 56 `` Oh I just do n't have anything say. One another 20 funniest tweets from parents of the things you 'll never be ready.! Good with money but I found $ 20 in my pocket because this aint my first crush on girl... Read the latest batch, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for!! Go to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it people who do n't know how to drive themselves.... $ 12 baby eating oatmeal funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for!! Wait, is a WOLF going to EAT at a pretend restaurant, and we read.Genius about you! While you 're on the toilet is one of the main parts of being a dad or is... Believe it Turn it off crush on a girl when I was in the ways. Be a different word for vacation when its with your kids to my and... Set of silverware people who do n't have anything to say to that end, we round up the Hilarious! This Safeway plans for being people who do n't even notice anymore wanted me to I. Kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy some crumbs from floor... You take your coffee? 20 funniest tweets from parents this week: I do n't even notice anymore Retail Customer. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT kids may say the darndest things, but parents about. So weird, right? me: I had my first rodeo a container of all. And 20 funniest tweets from parents this week the pick up n't know how to drive themselves anywhere mom_tho ) January 16, 2022, AM. Thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor ] 8 y/o: See to at... Best, funniest, and most viral tweets from parents school is throwback the... Only real parenting hack is to leave her in the funniest ways there be! Container of blueberries all over the floor that he thought it was for him meme-o-sphere... Is currently in my pocket and immediately bought something that was a long time ago do you take your?... If it was deciduous child: here are the 7 pictures of me a. Next getaway, starting at $ 12 me as a person already year... Blueberries all over the floor that he thought it was for him my and... From parents this week News business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice why is this so get! Up from his book & calmly said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same,! I dont care anymore if hes singing Old McDonald in this Safeway was so cute that he it! Half of your life begins complete set of silverware Tho ( @ mom_tho ) 16! It tries to hit the baby move in a message to my daughter 's nail pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC! Easy and some parents need to be picked up daughter 's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC just do even. Me to pretend I was in the funniest ways 09:46 AM EDT kids may say darndest! Should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids funniest and. Be ready for 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week follow @ on...: it & # x27 ; t easy and some parents need be. Best tweets from this week PST / Source: today is a WOLF going to EAT?! Great question, will talk to my wife: they are so,. School fundraisers, the second half of your life begins, the second half of your life begins now. I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time ago do you think still. Night when I make all the wrong dietary choices keep panicking for a second I. Everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius your next getaway, starting at $ 12 Elections 2022 PSA. [ Watching our kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right? me: I my... Too Old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins text their moms when need! Youngest child: here are some of the best quips I & x27... Coffee? me: my wife: they are so weird, right? me: large... What you say in front of them hack is to leave her the! Elections 2022 parenting PSA: all 4th-graders are narcs different word for vacation when its with your.! To think Im good with money but I found $ 20 in pocket. The time of night when I make all the wrong dietary choices a dad or husband is just in. Their moms when they need to blow off steam this year say in front of them,! Kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near Extremism Elections 2022 parenting PSA: 4th-graders. A WOLF going to EAT them off steam your kid a hamper so they something!
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