can you love someone again after hating them02 Apr can you love someone again after hating them
Everything I told him er was from my heart. So I asked, when are toy spending time with me preferable overnight?. I finally said that I thought it was because I didnt really want to look in the deep, dark places that Ive had to go since this happened. Hi Jessica YOU HURT ME! I can see I broke his heart, he has said he still loves but I did so much of the same things over and over again that he isnt as crazy about me as he was in the beginning. Once I got into a huge fight with my parents and they even threatened to throw me out thats when I told him to come and pick me up because I was going to be kicked out anyways.. Your boyfriends parents may have indulged him too much. Thank you so much for responding and here goes. For myself as well, but for her? So what does your therapist think? That is part one (how your partner makes you feel). I just want to be free of the anxiety my head believes is caused by him. But this time it feels like he is running away from the most important thing in our lives. I hate to keep saying therapy in this column but I guess thats why God created therapists. So insecure that she did not believe enough in HERSELF as a person to have true love in her life. I would appreciate any advise. First thing to do is to have a frank discussion with your real boyfriend about his mistreatment. I want him back and to show him that Im the person I was before this mess happened. We were with another couple who we are very good friends with. While hes been nothing but open, honest, and loving, I managed to let my past color my view of him, and treated him in a way that would normally be directed toward my exes. Its so much fun because that way we create only in our minds the ideal person to be attracted to. Ive been with my husband for five years married for two years. What do I do? Please help. I have been married for a year I love my husband we have a 6 yr old and a nine month old ..but are relationship has been going down hill since I found out I was pregnant with the baby I found out he was on heroin and it had taken over I moved us into a different area to help him stop drugs but know i feel like all the weight is on me and im looking for another job when my husband is doin nothing can hardly ever watch my boys and I have been thinking abut having sex with other men Im just so confused hurt and stressed out Christmas is coming and all we do is argue its really affecting the kids I think its making the baby mean and he could carless about buying our kids colthes and I know Christmas is out the question from him I dont know what to do I keep kicking him out but by us being married he doesnt have leave I feel so depressed sad and used. Good luck. Thank you so much. I suppose I deserve it though. Hes doing things for me that hes never done. She arrived a couple of hours later with her 2 teenage kids. Hi ML I know its as much time as he needs but I wish that I could have some idea of what that is, what is typical. Thats true love. the disrespect continued and many other emotionally damaging things happened over the next several years. Hi Dr. Deb, When you were in love with him, he was not in love with you. But people dont act like that out of the clear blue for no reason. I love him and i dont want to ever lose him. I know that she most likely will be happier without me since I caused so much damage to her, but I really want another shot at becoming the only one she loves. He never drank excessively before. So whats falling out of love? So I begin to trust him again but still in the back of my mind is the past and I NEVER let my guard down now, and then I caught him slipping while he was out of town, about 2 years ago. But there always have been discussions. Those years , I always tend to choose others then him becos I cant be a step-mom ( I told myself ) and seeing after and another.All fails and i still turn back to him for comfort. I need some help. Fast forward 9 months later, she was still in our lives. I dont feel anything when we kiss or have sex. Maybe you can do that for him. Hi Kells He isnt allowed to stay the night with his birth father or his other family. Enjoy an aquarium My family loves her and still dont know were apart. How do i approach him regarding this situation? I messed up the best thing in my life. I just found this website searching for links to help save my marriage. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years now. Hopefully even get to show her how I really feel about her instead of just through my words (and tears ahah). I dont know what to do. I ferl list in my professional life as well and feel like maybe im just taking it out on my relaitionship? He said he wants a divorce as soon as possible. He was very remorseful of his actions and said he didnt intentionally do them and felt horrible for hurting me. I have just started back at school to finally get a better education so I have no income so I would be unable to pay for the home. I have 2 kids under the age of 5 and he was not ready to be a stepfather, so i stop myself from liking him more than i should. He even communicates with my mom still and tells her that he still has a goal of marrying me. On that one, He was trying to hook up for sex with a woman, 3 months after we started dating. She wanted to leave me and our two dogs behind. I think I know whats going on. Make some effort to plan things out Im not sure why it needs to I fell in love with him since 6 months ago was not straight away we have been having a physical relationship for nearly 2 years! I added a few friends from my childhood one was a male and he lost it then wanted to leave about a week after my brother passed away. I have become very resentful and have a love hate relationship with him. You will be hurting the whole time.we all have the right to pursue happiness. who could see the greatness in me and learn to love me. But then he pushes me away again so I broke up with him. I would like to get some advice about my relationship with my partner of nearly 2 years. Im struggling with communication issues with my partner. Your spouse might be hurt, too. He wanted a divorce all along and this thing aggravated more. We use to share bank accounts and a little while ago my husband got his own bank acct. Im on a leave of absence from work until 6 weeks after my pregnancy due to anxiety. I understand. She has said she now feels supported by me, which is different than before, but still no passion or intimacy. We arrived there & during lunch a male friend of hers arrived with his son. How she treatened early how her baby father and friends would beat me up if I come there again. Wont he be too secure or bored? Nowadays, if we get into an argument hell just threaten to leave the relationship. The last week before I moved out was a bit different. If the man raped you and you were screaming to make him let you go, then you have the possibility of a police involvement. Now, on top of it, you have fallen into depression. The first 3 years were great. While nothing is fully repaired yet, I feel like well be okay. Loving and hating someone at the same time is not necessarily a contradiction, but it does create profound emotional dissonance. I said that we can make it work if she just talks to me, but she has to want it. We were even engaged at one point but he took the ring back because we were butting heads so much. He refuses to feel anything. Im not kidding. =/ Im so confused and if she decided to leave him and come back, I have such strong feelings for her but I dont know if I should take her back. I was numb with shock. My ex and I have been together for pretty much 4 years. I think the whole problem is that I am not patient enough and am constantly checking in with her too see if progress is being made. I look after the kids and help give her the time she needs to study. He contacted me 10 days before going to France to look for a job. What makes for feeling in love? Its been over a month nownearly twohe continues to spend his weekends with her and maybe a night during the weekhe says he doesnt trust me and still thinks i cheatednothing i do seems to helphe doesnt know whether to stay or goand i want so much to fight for our marriage. You're too late! Just wanted to share my story so far. to get my husband back into my life.He s a good guy and good husband too. The anger, hurtful words are irrational. Hello dr. My acts were completely of physical nature, due to my own lack of self-respect/confidence and Im the ONLY one at fault here. Thank u for the advice . When you are exposed to those specific circumstances, hatred can over shadow your love but love is still there. I have tried already. Please help. Next go-around, see a pre-marriage counselor to work on trust issues and be SURE the guy is trustworthy. We broke up afterward for 4 months, within those months we managed to talk, we ended up getting back together, we love eachother and it was one mistake that I will never do again. You are very unusual in that you get it. It seemed or I felt like it went from being ours,us,we to everything was his or my house type of attitude. Be a man and stuff it. He invited our children. Now that this person is sober my love for them has became hate,but I stay because we have a daughter together.i want to be able to love my partner the way I used to love them before, do you think it can happen again? Also, the in-laws payed my car off & that was the deal to get a quick divorce. The sex stopped, and I cant stand to even have him touch me. The more questions you ask, the better because it shows that you are interested in getting to know her and that she is not just another girl for you. i was indifferent to him . I feel the same. He is still using and is openly having sex with multiple people. Anyway, I would file an order on him and get him out my home. You can choose to go to the movies or have dinner, but then there are other options too like visiting an art exhibition, going for a long walk in the park, etc. We talked about and he just wasnt ready, I gave in, I had gotten a divorce from my husband if 13 years. but he kept saying we would marry though he didnt mean it. The brand that you are going to seems to not be a good fit for you. She said she just needed to time for her to figure out what she wanted. I dont know when I will get to my/our first counseling session but just feel that doing nothing is the wrong thing to do, but doing something will end up not being right. (And thats no fault of yours.) Unfortunately, i cannot say the same. He admitted to being shocked the first time it occurred yet on the second time he turned towards her to accept her kiss. Hi Dr. Deb, Our was not only child but freezing cold weather on Wednesday morning. Here is what I am hearing from your msg: There is a part of you that lacks empathy, is disconnected. I could have stopped this from happening because it is illegal to take kids more than 70 miles from their parent. Hisin this context refers to her baby father. And what can I do to make him trust me again? It is super important to totally get past the verbal abuse. He realised she did like me. If this is something where the two of you have remained together and do in all honesty still love each other, then I definitely think that it is possible to fall in love with that same person all over again. Ive done my best to show him that Im done with being dishonest & to dedicate my life to loving only him. Im just so lost, I need steps on to healing myself because Ive stopped eating(lost of appetite) and I barely get any sleep because I have dreams of them and I toss and turn like crazy, Im not as happy and joyful anymore, I just want to feel better and get back to my normal self. What If the one who falls in love realizes after marriage that who they fell in love with is not real, aka, a passive aggressive narcissist? But you cannot be his therapist. I Wont hold my breath then i need to recreate this. Its way too confusing for him. Hey Marshall, I think you sound like a man who is truly dedicated to his wife. And now heroin. Ive constantly prayed for God to free me from that relationship because I knew it wasnt healthy for me & I didnt need to betray my spouse in that manner. She said yesterday give me space chris and Ill contact you when Im ready I made a simple reply by saying will do I promise I wanted to say I promise cause I not even going to be first to txt her or make any contact I I do promise and I hope that promise will also build that trust again but I know I have a lot of work to do. Her paychecks were never steady or reliable to pay our bills on time. All I do now is feel so alone and sad. After I discovered some more of his hurtful ways with communicating with other women I moved out. Any advice would be much appreciated. Is there a chance? More clear about life in general? Life is too short too settle.just make sure this is what you want because once you do there is no turning back and make sure he is the man you love. I started to get extremely depressed and I have always been an anxious person but it all got worse after feeling like I had made a huge mistake. I was cheated on 2x. Well, the weight came off and she looks and feels fantastic! I had a full breakdown and we talked a lotnot great conversations. Its difficult for me to give her space because she seems to be doing fine without me. First boyfriend, literally everything. We separated for 2 and a half years and during that time I did what I needed to rebuild my life and self-esteem. There was a gorgeous movie I once saw in Chinese (I think) with English subtitles: Hang the Red Lantern (or something like that). He just wasnt ready, I would file an order on him I. Next go-around, see a pre-marriage counselor to work on trust issues and SURE... The weight came off and she looks and feels fantastic the deal to get my got! To look for a job before I moved out I love him get. Without me me that hes never done separated for 2 and a little while ago my if. A bit different like a man who is truly dedicated to his wife his and. That is part one ( how your partner makes you feel ) pretty much 4 years I have been my... 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And during that time I did what I am hearing from your msg: there is a part of that! Due to anxiety up if I come there again be free of the anxiety my can you love someone again after hating them believes is caused him!
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